Weekend Update! Third Cycle

"And now, Weekend Update with your host Zrath-Smiley."

Hello out there in LJ-Land! Welcome to "Episode III: Are We There Yet?"!"

Monday January 15th (Magic Castle: t-minus 0 hours!)

This is it! The Big Day! Woo hoo!
I was so excited, I stayed in bed until noon. :D
Then I called Spino to see what was what. He wanted me to be at the Castle by 5pm, so that meant being at HIS castle
by 4pm, giving plenty of time to change and get ready. I calculated I needed to leave home at 2:45pm.
So I went about my toilette and got dressed. I made myself a nice big lunch since we were probably not going to have dinner
at the Castle (PRICEY!). My sibling made himself breakfast and declined to share my pasta y marinara y quatro formagios.
I packed my clothes, put on my fancy leather jacket, and headed out to catch my first bus.
I thought the Santa Monica Big Blue Bus was running on the Sunday schedule because it was MLK Day, but nooooooo...
They were running on the weekday schedule, which was cool! I caught the second bus sooner than I thought, and figured
I would get to Spi and Swee's early. Urrrrrr, not quite. I had not looked at the map carefully enough.
The bus I took didn't stay on Olympic Blvd., it changed to Pico Blvd. once in Beverly Hills. Oh bother.
This meant more of a walk to get to Castle Spino. Oh well, exercise is good.

Turns out I was getting off near "Bloom Café", a new restaurant opened by a friend of Der Sibling, DJ Jean-Louis.
For those of you in L.A., he used to own the trendy and music-friendly "Louis XIV" restaurant on La Brea in Hollywood.
It was located about two blocks North of Melrose Ave. and that damn Pink's hot dog stand (where there's a line 24/7!).
So this is his new venture, Bloom Café, located on Pico Blvd., near the Curson intersection.
(But of course there is a website, hon-hon-hon!!)
Jean-Louis is into health food (and gave Pascal a few pointers), so everything is organic, natural, etc...
And since he's French, everything is also really tasty. It's open 7 days, but only from 8am to 5pm.
If you go further East on Pico, you eventually reach the world-famous "Roscoe's House Of Chicken And Waffles"!
Which is pretty much Bloom Café's kryptonite! :)
The original "Oki-Dog" is also nearby, and that's the antimatter version of Bloom Café! :D
I went in and said bonjour to Jean-Louis. He offered me stuff but I refused, as I was full.
I chatted for a bit, then left and started hiking to Castle Spino.

It was closer than I thought and I arrived there fairly quickly. I clambered up the Steps Of Doom and knocked on the door.
The Great Spinoroni let me in and went off to get dressed. I took over the living room and got changed into my good clothes.
I was about to put on my gigantic white dress shirt when the doorbell rang. Oh noez! I put my t-shirt back on and answered.
Peeking through the little window, I saw 2 people I knew and a stranger. Oh boy!
I let everyone in and let 'em know Spino and Sweetie were in the back, busy getting dressed.
How clever of Captain Spino to not tell me that Tadao and Mario were joining us. And that Mario was bringing with him his
new girlfriend, whom I had not met yet! What a wonderful surprise. He is indeed a savvy host and party planner. Yarrrrr!
And when he emerged from the bedroom, Captain Spino was indeed wearing a somewhat nautical outfit:
turtleneck sweater, navy blue jacket, and the Magic Castle member pin even looked some sailing-related decoration!
All he needed was an ascot and a pipe (and some facial hair), and he would not have looked out of place in an episode of
"The Ghost And Mrs Muir". "It's the Gorton's Fisherman!" exclaimed Mario when he saw the outfit.
Captain Spino loaned me a tie featuring Disney villains, with Chernobog holding a prominent place. Sweet.
Soon, everyone was ready and we headed out the door. I asked Tadao to snap a picture of me all dressed up for the Castle.
It was going to be dark soon, and photography is not allowed at the Castle, so this was the best time.
Outfit-wise, I wasn't looking for anything too fancy, just something good enough to let me in to the magicians' clubhouse.
I'm planning to get something hipper and nicer later, possibly a zoot suit.
Anyway, here's the picture. Cellphones do not good cameras make.
The sibling says I look like a valet parking attendant. Gee, thanks dude.

So anyway, we drove off to Hollywood.


And I have to continue this in another post because it's gotten too big.
Stay tuned for "Episode III And A Half: Won't That Kzin Ever Shut Up?"!

Weekend Update! Give A Hoot!

"And now, Weekend Update with your host Zrath-Smiley."

Hello out there in LJ-Land! Welcome to "Episode III And A Half: The Owls Are Not What They Seem!"!"

Monday January 15th, Again (Magic Castle: we're there!)

The Magic Castle is on top of a little hill, but it's a steep hill, and the Spinomobile is a stickshift. Spino had to be sure
the way up the hill was clear before going, 'cause he couldn't stop halfway up. He'd just roll back down if that happened.
Unfortunately, cars kept going around him and filling up the necessary space needed.
His solution was innovative: he drove up the hill, looped around the Castle, and used the other driveway to reposition
himself at the end of the line (but at the top of the hill) for the valet parking.
Once everyone was in the reception area, I was given the honor of opening the magic door to the Castle itself.
I stared at the owl and uttered the magic words: "open sesame".
And lo and behold, a bookcase slid sideways, revealing the way in.
You can follow along if you want by going here and mousing around the diagram of the Castle.
The reception area is called the "Owl Bookcase". Once the bookcase opens, you're in the "Grand Salon".
We immediately stood in line to go see David Roth perform in the "Close-Up Gallery". Apparently, Mr. Roth is considered
the best coin magician in the world and was only performing on that one night. Talk about lucky!
While in line, we checked the schedule to double-check Joel's performing time. And good thing we did, as his stage time
had been moved to 10:30pm. And it was a school night too! Sweetie and I both had work and she much sooner than me.

After what seems like an hour in line, we moved into the airlock where we wanted some more. There were chairs though!
There were also caricatures of various Castle members past and present, including Cary Grant, Johnny Carson, Orson Welles,
all the Blackstones, Dai Vernon, David Copperfield, Doug Henning, Steve Martin, Bill Bixby, and many I didn't recognize.
And then we finally got ushered into the Close-Up Gallery. It only seats about 20.
Mr. Roth appeared, took off his jacket, rolled up his shirt-sleeves, and sat down.
He then proceeded to blow everyone's mind, even the other magicians', with the most incredible coin tricks ever seen.
I was sitting maybe 7 feet away from him, to his right side, and I could see everything clearly.
Yet, I saw nothing, if you know what I mean.
Coins appeared and disappeared with ease. Coins went through his hand. Coins jumped in and out of a tiny circular brass box.
Coins travelled out of the box, placed on top of his hand, through his hand, falling on the table below.
I tell you, even the other magicians were gasping in awe.
If you ever see this guy listed anywhere, GO SEE HIM!!!

After this mindblowing tour-de-force, Spino took us on a tour of the Magic Castle.
If you followed the link I posted and are looking at the map, you can see the Castle is a big twisty-turny sort of place.
There are 5 different bars, 3 magic theaters plus extra rooms for events and parties, the restaurant, the library, etc...
Next to the restaurant is the "Houdini Scéance Room". It reminds me a bit of the "Pope Room" at Buca Di Beppo:
it's a circular room with a circular table in the middle of it. There the similarity ends. Instead of being decorated
in papal paraphernalia, the "Houdini Scéance Room" contains Houdini paraphernalia and curios. The room can be rented and
dinner made and served there. And it is said that it is possible to talk to the ghost of Harry Houdini.
There is also the "W.C. Fields Bar", where I'm told magic and drinks are served at the time.
The Castle is filled with curios and props from all over, including some of W.C. Fields' bent pool cues and one pool table,
stained glass windows from various sources, the city lights backdrop from the '70s "Tonight Show", and so on.
After the tour, we wound up at the "Upstairs Bar" for drinks and an impromptue set of card tricks from a friend of Spino.
I discreetly munched on a Clif Bar, since drinking booze on an empty stomach is not a good thing, especially for me.
Then I ordered a mai-tai. Tadao told me that "mai-tai" was Hawaiian for "dumb fuck". I don't know if I trust him on that.

We meandered back to the Grand Salon and checked out "Invisible Irma's Room". Magic cannot be performed in this room.
Irma is an ivisible ghost. She only communicates through her piano. She has an invisible ghost bird in a cage.
If you slide a dollar through the cage's bars, Irma plays a few bars of "We're In The Money" and the bird chirps.
Irma takes request. She seems to know a lot of music. She can still be stumped though. Also, she's witty.
Our sojourn with Irma went a little something like this:

Tadao: "Irma, can you play 'What A Wonderful World' by Louis Armstrong?"
Irma plays it, Tadao sings along, impersonating Louis Armstrong.

Zrath: "Irma, can you play 'Autobahn' by Kraftwerk?"
Irma slams 5 keys at once in the lower end of the scale, which I take to mean "no".
Zrath: "I thought she knew the classics?"
Spino: "Not YOUR classics, apparently."

Mario's girlfriend: "Irma, can you play some Leonard Bernstein?"
Irma plays "Maria" from "West Side Story".

Spino: "Irma, how about something French?"
Irma plays some snake-charmer music which confuses us for a bit, until we realize that, in American pop culture, that song
has lyrics that go "There's a place in France where the girls don't wear no pants". Everyone chuckles appreciatively.
Then Irma plays "La Vie En Rose" and I sing along with the few words I remember.

Zrath: "Irma, can you play 'Summer Place'?"
Irma complies and plays the stereotypical template for muzak the world over.

I don't know how it's done. And here's the kicker: I don't care!
It's fun to just play along. I don't need to know how it works.

And then, it was finally time to queue up for Joel's performance. This was at the "Parlour Of Prestidigitation", a room
that holds maybe 50-60 people max. The waiting area had chairs so we chilled, making up dialogue for the silent videos
of coming attractions playing on a monitor overhead. Some of the other patrons joined in.
At one point, a name flashed on the screen that looked a lot like "Stephen Mhifjdshjsplxz" (not exactly but almost).
"Hey, how do you pronounce that?" I asked no one in particular.
"Stee-vun" quipped one patron. HAR!
One video had tons of flashing, smoke, and horrible fake lens flares, so I kept making explosion noises at every flash.
I saw Joel Hodgson walk by quickly with a drink in his hand. I did not blame him. It's been years since he's been on stage!
And then they let us in! Woohoo!
We settled into our chairs, Joel was introduced, and there he was, big as life and resplendent in a grey three-piece suit.
"D'ya like the suit? I bought it today, just for the show." (pause) "It's shark skin." As he turns to the side to show
off the suit, we see that he's got a HUGE shark fin attached to the back of the suit.
That's Joel!
I won't give the rest of the performance away, but if you've seen his appearance on SNL and a few other shows prior to
him doing MST3K, you'll have an idea of the kind of prop-driven humor he does. And a lot of it is "you had to be there"
stuff that's not nearly as funny when taken out of context or recounted through a prose medium like this.
The show was short and funny and well worth seeing, especially for a Joel fan like me.
After the show, we walked up to him and I got to SHAKE HIS HAND!! He was totally cool!!
I mentioned that I had shown Spino "The TV Wheel", an Ernie Kovacks-style comedy special that Joel had put together after
MST3K, and that we felt there was room on television for humor of that type. Joel mentioned that "TV Wheel" was still
out there and there was interest in it, so who knows, maybe we'll see something like that in the future.
You know, funny stuff that requires a little bit of brain matter to appreciate.
It would be nice.

And that was pretty much it. It was late and time to go. We piled up outside and waited for the valet service.
I grabbed my stuff at Castle Spino, still managed to forget a sweater, and Spino drove me home.
It was a wonderful evening that I am not likely to forget soon.
And there will be more wonderful evenings, I will do my best to make it so, with a lil' help from my friends...