Random: Duck And Cover

[zrath]

We're gonna do something a lil' different for this Random.
We're gonna play a game.
Let's look at the picture first:





This was snapped today on the bus.
This handicapped gentleman is reading a government pamphlet with great interest.
The pamphlet is called "Citizen Involvement In Homeland Security", as seen in the close-up in the upper-left corner.
Here's the game we're gonna play:

Come up with what you think it says on that pamphlet.
Make it funny.
Don't be too mean.
Otherwise, papa spank!! :D