Out Darn Flu! - Cheap Rental - URB Orb Humour

I'm just about cured! My throat is still rough, and I had the sniffles this morning.
But for all intensive purposes (as a Texan friend used to say), I'm cured.
Wow, that was the fastest flu ever!!



So I rented a cheap little car on Saturday to shuttle the various bits of sound system
needed for the sibling's Saturday gig (a birthday party at Sebastian's house).
The brother from another planet was supposed to get up early on Monday morning to
pick up the money to pay for the rental and return the car by 1pm. He didn't.

Wake up that is. He woke up at 2pm. I, of course, had been at work since 9am.
I had called at around 11am and left a message, but he was slumbering too deeply.
So, okay, looks like we keep the car an extra day. Arf. Whatever. So I get home from
work at 7:30pm and the sibling is home, playing SSX Tricky. He got the money for the
rental car, but it's not enough for 3 days, so I went out and picked up some extra $.
I sold a couple of PS2 games I wasn't playing anymore: Tony Hawk 3 and Red Faction 2.
And that's when the rental car died on me. The battery was drained. Swell. I prowled
the parking lot, asking people for a jumpstart, to no avail. Nobody in the city
carries jumper cables anymore. They probably wouldn't know what to do with them.

So I double-checked the rental contract, and what do you know, there's a phone number
for emergency towing! The print was so small that I had missed it the first 5 times
I'd looked. So I called 'em up and they basically told me "Screw you, duck-face!"
(to quote David Letterman).
Apparently, the rental company is so cheap that they told the towing company to send
out a truck only if the car is stuck in a dangerous place (like the freeway, or
South Central L.A.). This means that I have to arrange for my own transportation home.

WTF!?!?!?!?

I mean, there's a difference between trimming the fat and scrapping the bone.
So now, every time I'm gonna rent a car from these guys, I will have the added worry
of being screwed, blued, and tattooed if their piece of shit car breaks down.
You get what you pay for, I guess.
Nest time, I'll seriously consider a real rental company.
In the meantime, they charged me for 2 days instead of 3, which is nice of them.
However, one of the guys there strongly hinted that it was my fault that the battery
had died because I had probably left the headlights on after parking it.
Screw you, duck-face! I have better habits than that! You know how many times I've
locked myself out of a vehicle? In my whole life?!?! Twice!!
And the second time, it was because the car keys came off my keyback just as I was
exiting the car. I think I wrote about it in my LJ...
So anyway, grrrrrrrrrr...



And now, a DJ joke by Alex Paterson (The Orb), as seen in URB magazine (Oct '03):

Alex P.: "What's the difference between God and Paul Oakenfold?"

URB Mag: "I don't know."

Alex P.: "God doesn't think he's Paul Oakenfold."



"Throw your hands in the air! And wave 'em like you just don't give a shit!"