Project Pink

[zrath]

(By the way, this is not an April Fools post. This stuff is real. I took the pictures myself with my cellphone.)

Y'all remember this from a few months ago?



Yesssss, Ouija Board For Girls, exclusively at Toys'R'Us.
Well, there's more!! A WHOLE LOT MORE!!!



Yes, Parker Brothers and Milton-Bradley and Toys'R'Us have united to bring us more pinked and pastelled board games!
First up in this parade of horrors, PINK JENGA!



And it's not just PINK JENGA! It's PINK JENGA GIRL TALK EDITION!!!
"Edge-of-your-Seat Fun, With a Twist!" "FEEL the Microfiber Stocking Sleeve!" "SOLID WOOD BLOCKS are Pretty in Pink!"
And SOLID WOOD BLOCKS have stuff written on them, too. That's what makes it the "Girl Talk Edition".
"If you had one wish, what would you wish for?"
"Name someone you have a crush on right now."
"What is your favorite website?"
So, what kind of tree has pink wood? :D

Next up, PINKOPOLY!



Aka Monopoly "Boutique Edition". "Boutique" is a French word for "cute little specialized store".
The game is packaged in a pink mirrored "keepsake" jewelry box.
As for the game pieces, take a look at this crappy photo (cellphones don't do close-ups too good):



From left to right, top to bottom: skateboard, sunglasses, flip-flop, hair dryer, cellphone, soccer ball, purse, doggy.
Or maybe it's a kitty. But I think it's a doggy, possibly a Scottish Terrier with the funny mustache and beard. :)
The houses and hotels are hair salons, spas, clothing stores and malls instead. I don't know about the other changes.
Oh boy...

Moving on, we have PINK LIVING!



Aka "The Game Of Life - High School Edition".
"With cool game pieces and a fabric-covered box designed just for girls!" it says right there on the box.
Okay, so, wait a minute; this version of the game only goes as far as high school? Or does it start in high school
(teen pregnancy anyone?) and move on from there? I'm a wee bit confused...

Ah, but we have to keep going, there's more!
Next up, PINK SCRABBLE!



Aka "Scrabble - Designer's Edition".
In case, you're wondering, the price tag on the shelf reads: "EN SCRABBLE DELUXE PINK $39.99"
Let's check out the back of the box and see what the gameboard looks like:



So it's pink, pastel green, and white. If it had some black in it, it would be the "Patrick Nagel Edition". :D

Aaaaaaah, but it's not all revamp and pinkification.
Some of the classics are still around, like this one, which was on the same shelf as the rest:



It looks all retro and nifty but wait, you see the girl dressed for cold weather? Look at what she's carrying.
It's a (way too small) snowboard, not a pair of skis. Alas, modernism has creeped in.
Also, that poor girl with the pick-a-nick basket is going to be disappointed, there seems to be no one for her.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww...



And thus ends this tour into the Land Of Pink boardgames.
I hope you were touched by some of its evil.
Good night, and good luck.