Project Pink

[zrath]

(By the way, this is not an April Fools post. This stuff is real. I took the pictures myself with my cellphone.)

Y'all remember this from a few months ago?



Yesssss, Ouija Board For Girls, exclusively at Toys'R'Us.
Well, there's more!! A WHOLE LOT MORE!!!



Yes, Parker Brothers and Milton-Bradley and Toys'R'Us have united to bring us more pinked and pastelled board games!
First up in this parade of horrors, PINK JENGA!



And it's not just PINK JENGA! It's PINK JENGA GIRL TALK EDITION!!!
"Edge-of-your-Seat Fun, With a Twist!" "FEEL the Microfiber Stocking Sleeve!" "SOLID WOOD BLOCKS are Pretty in Pink!"
And SOLID WOOD BLOCKS have stuff written on them, too. That's what makes it the "Girl Talk Edition".
"If you had one wish, what would you wish for?"
"Name someone you have a crush on right now."
"What is your favorite website?"
So, what kind of tree has pink wood? :D

Next up, PINKOPOLY!



Aka Monopoly "Boutique Edition". "Boutique" is a French word for "cute little specialized store".
The game is packaged in a pink mirrored "keepsake" jewelry box.
As for the game pieces, take a look at this crappy photo (cellphones don't do close-ups too good):



From left to right, top to bottom: skateboard, sunglasses, flip-flop, hair dryer, cellphone, soccer ball, purse, doggy.
Or maybe it's a kitty. But I think it's a doggy, possibly a Scottish Terrier with the funny mustache and beard. :)
The houses and hotels are hair salons, spas, clothing stores and malls instead. I don't know about the other changes.
Oh boy...

Moving on, we have PINK LIVING!



Aka "The Game Of Life - High School Edition".
"With cool game pieces and a fabric-covered box designed just for girls!" it says right there on the box.
Okay, so, wait a minute; this version of the game only goes as far as high school? Or does it start in high school
(teen pregnancy anyone?) and move on from there? I'm a wee bit confused...

Ah, but we have to keep going, there's more!
Next up, PINK SCRABBLE!



Aka "Scrabble - Designer's Edition".
In case, you're wondering, the price tag on the shelf reads: "EN SCRABBLE DELUXE PINK $39.99"
Let's check out the back of the box and see what the gameboard looks like:



So it's pink, pastel green, and white. If it had some black in it, it would be the "Patrick Nagel Edition". :D

Aaaaaaah, but it's not all revamp and pinkification.
Some of the classics are still around, like this one, which was on the same shelf as the rest:



It looks all retro and nifty but wait, you see the girl dressed for cold weather? Look at what she's carrying.
It's a (way too small) snowboard, not a pair of skis. Alas, modernism has creeped in.
Also, that poor girl with the pick-a-nick basket is going to be disappointed, there seems to be no one for her.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww...



And thus ends this tour into the Land Of Pink boardgames.
I hope you were touched by some of its evil.
Good night, and good luck.

Comments

[paka.livejournal.com]

You can talk to the spirits as long as they're like, the spirit of Doris Day and stuff.

[dagoski.livejournal.com]

Is it just me, or does the planchette on that ouija board sort of look like a sex toy?

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

You want to know why MLP's did so well with the kids? It was one of the few things that you could buy that every accessory and doll wasn't PINK!

Not that I have an issue with pink, mind you. I love shades of the color... but someone in charge of Girl Toy Development needs to be shot with a pink laser will her skin is pink. Then maybe we can get the point through.

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'll expand on that thought.

This isn't marketed to the children. This is marketed at Grandparents and at the Parents of Children, who are too FREAKING insecure that the children won't know what toys they are suppose to play with that they COLOR CODE the bloody things. So that when they look over and don't see the pale reds and oranges, they can go "Don't play with that!". It's psychotic.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I have NEVER met a parent like that. Maybe on TV or something, or one of those things you hear about on the intertubes...but REALLY?

And you know what? With my first, I got all ridiculous about being 'gender neutral'. Turns out my daughter is about as girly as they get. I was still trying to make some sort of impression on my kid. It was just as bad. Now my kids are my kids. Even if they dare to like the 'wrong' things.

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Let's just say that I've known some pretty conservative parents when I was a kid. Not mine, mind you, but there was a few that were really upset at who was playing with who or what. I never understood it.

[turbinerocks.livejournal.com]

I want pink Monopoly. XD

[girlfmkitty.livejournal.com]

To whoever came up with the concept of pinkifying everything, I dedicate this icon.

[araquan.livejournal.com]

Remember the Lionel girl's train I mentioned? Here it is, straight outta 1957. It sold like crap, because the girls wanted the same 'normal' trains the boys were getting, and no boy would be caught dead within fifty feet of any of this stuff. So it's become quite sought after by collectors. Maybe those new things will suffer the same fate. You may have to wait a decade or two to cash in though. }XD

[sanju-nana-ban.livejournal.com]

Where's the All-Pink edition of Twister?

[zrath.livejournal.com]

I saw no such thing on the shelf. But I just checked online and I see you're right.
If all the dots on the mat are pink, doesn't that defeat the purpose of the game? :D

[sabertooth1980.livejournal.com]

I want to stab things now. And set them on fire. Pink is an evil creature.

[snapes-angel.livejournal.com]

They're dinky / They're Pinky and the Brain-brain-brain-brain-NARF!

Pink Monopoly? Oh, the humanity!

[snapes-angel.livejournal.com]

When Terror was born, I asked that we not be overinundated with pink, and we weren't, luckily. She did get a couple of pink things later. Too much pink is, well, I'd rather have pink cotton candy then a pink Monopoly board. The pink Ouija board is hella funny, though.