zrath

Okay, you know what? I've got too many movies to run through the Netflixing wringer.
So I'm gonna try to keep things short and sweet, and break it all up into two posts.
Post 1! Fight!


Eragon (2006) - "It's déja-vu all over again!" - Yogi Berra
Stop me if you've heard this one before: "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope".
Got that? Now add a pinch of Fantasy (dragons, trolls, orcs, magic) and voila! It's "Eragon".
That's it, that's all. I've been told the book had extra bits that made the thing interesting but these extra bits were
stripped from the film, so, urrrrr... . . . . You're left with the déja-vu bits.
The dragon is purty and BLUE and voiced by sexy Rachel Weisz (sooooo SEXAY in "The Mummy", arf-arf-barooooo!!).
For dragon-lovers only. And people who have never seen "Star Wars" or "Lord Of The Rings".

Casino Royale (2006) - Directed by Martin Campbell, who also directed "GoldenEye"
This is gonna be a short one. This film rocks. Not only does it rock, but it also RAWKS!! This is exactly the kick in the
ass the franchise needed. "Die Another Day" was a step in the right direction, but this crosses the line completely and
reboots Bond. Daniel Craig is simply awesome. I used to think Jason Statham could have made a good Bond, but he looks too
much like ex-SAS. Craig, on the other hand, looks both handsome AND rugged without looking ex-Special Forces.
I eagerly look forward to more Craig Bond.

Man Of The Year (2006) - which is not quite the full-on comedy gag-fest some might expect
Robin Williams plays a comic (nooooo!) with a successfull satirical news program (sounds familiar!) who decides, on a whim
(and after his entire audience suggests it) to run for President Of The United States. So he gets a big-ass RV, grabs the
kids and goes on vacation. Urrrrrr, no wait, wrong film. Okay, so he does get a big-ass RV but instead uses it to hit the
road and stump for presidentialism stuff. Meanwhile, a programmer lady working for some company (*cough*Diebold*cough) finds
an error in the new McGuffin Voting Software, e-mails her boss, and gets told it will be taken care of. But really, it isn't
taken care of, and the company sends a ninja to Programmer Lady's (in French: Programmeuse) house. OH NOEZ!!!
The ninja shoots her full of illegal drugs, including a short-time memory eraser I guess because she don't remember being
ninjaed when she wakes up the next morning. The drugs kick in at work and she goes full-goose-bozo and gets canned.
Everyone whistles innocently. The comic gets elected, and everyone has to DEAL! Good movie, makes you think.

And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself (2003) - another wonderful HBO Movies production
Antonio Banderas plays the famous Mexican bandit/revolutionary as he tries to fund his revolution by selling the movie rights
to his battles and himself. Since this is in 1914, the movies are still silent and pretty goofy, so people are just not
ready for realistic combat footage. So the production is tarted up a bit, an actor portrays the young Pancho Villa,
additional moviemaking trappings are used. Banderas is great in the role and the supporting cast is solid. This film is an
interesting study of media manipulation, politics and makes a good history lesson. Another winner from HBO Movies.

Fly Boys (2006) - "Top Gun" with more carnage, slower planes and more Frenchmen
Harry Osborn (James Franco) takes time out from hating Spider-Man to play one of several young American pilots joining
L'Escadrille Lafayette in WWI France. Jean Reno costars as the airbase commander. It's always nice to see a WWI air combat
film just because there are so few of them. This one does a good job of showing the hardships of early combat pilots.
A definite rental for aviation buffs. Others will find a decent piece of entertainment, albeit a little slow in places.

Crank (2006) - Funnier than Tex Avery cartoons on crack!!!1!!
I didn't know quite what to expect. I mean, I knew it was going to be an action film, what with the premise and the casting
of Jason Statham in the lead. A hitman is poisoned and only has 48 hours to live. The poison is slowing his heart down, so
our victim must do everything to keep his heart stimulated: drugs, energy drinks, stimulants, sex, defibrillators, etc...
The resulting film cranks everything to 11 and makes you feel like you're watching Tex Avery cartoons on crack.
It's funny because of the sheer lunacy of it. It's like Tony Scott (see "Domino") without the restraint.
You have to see it to believe it. Rated R for a reason, not for the faint of heart, and funny as hell.

Hellboy - Animated: Sword of Storms (2007) - Red's back in town!
This first Hellboy OVA stars the voices of Ron Perlman, Selma Blair and Doug Jones reprising their roles from the film as
Hellboy, Liz Sherman and Abe Sapien respectively. If you like Japanese mythology, you're in for a treat. Most of the action
is set in Japan and includes a lot of critters from the culture. Hellboy even fights a Kappa!!
It's a fun diversion with its own look and continuity (Professor Broom is not dead and will be seen in the 2nd OVA).
I look forward to renting the further adventures of the big red monkey.

Marie Antoinette (2006) - Pretty puff pastry with awesome '80s music
It's no surprise that the theme song for this film is "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow. Because it's like strolling through
the world's biggest candy and pastry shop. All the dresses are candy-colored. The film shows what life at Versailles must
have been like for Marie Antoinette, touchy-feely Austrian princess who suddenly finds herself thrown in the colder world
of "La Court De France", married to a geek Dauphin who likes locks (and would have been a trainspotter in this day and age).
Every move watched and choreographed, every word analyzed and weighted. It's not fun.
The soundrack is fantabulous and comes on 2 CDs. It features a mix of less obvious '80s tunes, some classical pieces, and a
couple of recent electronic tracks. So you get things like "Aphrodisiac" (Bow Wow Wow), "Plainsong" (The Cure), "Ceremony"
(New Order), "Hong Kong Garden" (Siouxsie And The Banshees), some Vivaldi and Scarlatti, and 2 Aphex Twin tracks I actually
recognized, taken from his recent "Druqs" album. I was also thrilled to hear "All Cats Are Grey" by The Cure, an awesome
song I had previously heard exactly once before and only in one place: one of my brother's early '80s mixtapes.
Sofia Coppola definitely has good tastes in music.

One Night with the King (2006) - For those who want to see a more realistic King Xerxes
I saw a trailer for this and it seemed to be bankrolled by some kind of religious company (Gener8Xion Entertainment).
I was ready to dismiss it but the casting caught my interest: Omar Sharif and Peter O'Toole (together again since
"Lawrence Of Arabia"? Not in the same scenes though), John Rhys-Davies (aka Gimli in LOTR), Tommy 'Tiny' Lister (aka
The Prez from "Fifth Element"), John Noble (aka batshitcrazy Stewart Of Gondor in LOTR), and James Callis (aka Dr.
Gaius Baltar in newjack "Battlestar Galactica", whom I first mistook for Alexander Siddig). This is an old-school biblical
film, retelling the story of Esther, a jewish girl who married the king of Persia (King Xerxes, before his massive make-over
for Frank Miller's "300") and saved her people from extermination. This also the origin of the Jewish holiday of Purim.
It's not a bad film.

The Science of Sleep (2005) -
Looney tunes French guy Michel Gondry's most recent effort, featuring his trademark homemade sets and props and stop-motion
wackiness. The story of Stéphane, a creative guy tricked into coming home to Paris, France by his mother and her promise
of a creative job, which actually consists of pasting photos onto single-page calendars. He's about ready to return to
Mexico City when he meets his neighbor and her roommate, Stéphanie. Geeky romance eventually follows, after some hilarious
situations caused by Stéphane's not waiting Stéphanie to know he's actually her neighbor (would take too long to explain).
If you're ready for something creative, off-the-wall and ultimately rather sweet, this pretty much fills the bill.

Young Mr. Lincoln (1939) - Henry Fonda and John Ford's first film gets Criterion release
Henry Fonda plays the young Abraham Lincoln and I'll be damned if he doesn't actually look like him!
The film shows a glimpse of his early life as a lawyer, displaying his natural gift at public speaking and persuasion.
And he needs his full skills to defend a pair of brothers accused of killing a man.
Definitely worth a look and worthy of the Criterion treatment.

The Black Dahlia (2006) - Rented for the sibling, only watched bits of it, seemed okay.


Stay tuned for Part 2!