OMGWTFNETFLIXING!

Yes, yes, it's been a loooooooooooong time since I've done some Netflixing.
It's been too hot in the bedroom to sit there and type for hours on end on a Netflix post.
And all sorts of wacky crap has been happening. Some of it is still happening!
But the weather has nicely (and finally!) cooled down, so I can sit there and type my life away!
I'm gonna be keeping the "reviews" short, as there's a lot of stuff to cover.
Also, I'll have to do multiple posts.


Streamflixing (Movies streamed through Netflix)

Sphere (1998)
That movie slipped under my radar and word of mouth seemed to indicate it wasn't very good.
I thought it was good. Not great, mind you, but good and interesting. It's got little bits of other sci-fi
movies in it, like "Forbidden Planet", "Event Horizon", and has some booga-booga "Alien" moments.
A group of specialists are flown to the middle of the ocean and sent down to an underwater habitat to
investigate what appears to be a spaceship that seems to have been at the bottom for over 300 years.
The specialists are a psychologist (Dustin Hoffman), a marine biologist (Sharon Stone), a mathematician
(Samuel L. Jackson), and an astrophysicist (Liev Schreiber). Rounding out the cast are the Navy guy
in charge (Peter Coyote), the Navy technician (Queen Latifah), and Huey Lewis in a bit part. :)
We here at the Kzinti Freehold are fond of Mr. Schreiber. He's one reason we saw the "Wolverine" film.
The movie is based on the Michael Crichton novel of the same name published the year before.
Unusually, the movie lacks the "machines inexplicably fail at the critical time" signature Crichton move.
Maybe it happens in the novel. Apparently, a lot of things are different in the novel.
If we were to find this DVD on sale somewhere for $5, we'd probably pick it up.

The China Syndrome (1979)
This movie was a big deal when it first came out. And not just because it opened a few days before the
Three Mile Island nuclear accident. The film is not much too look at, lacking glamorous locations and
lavish sets, but that's not the point. It's all about the human drama and the ratcheting suspense.
A junior TV reporter (Jane Fonda) and her freelance cameraman (Michael Douglas) are on-site at a newly
activated nuclear power plant when they witness a SCRAM (emergency shutdown) event from a soundproof
observation room. The cameraman films it all on the sly, but he and the reporter don't know what happened,
since they couldn't hear anything. Back at the TV station, her boss refuses to run the story, fearing
criminal prosecution and other things. Meanwhile, the supervisor at the plant (Jack Lemmon) suspects that
something's not kosher with the reactor because he felt some unusual vibrations during the SCRAM.
The two parties investigate independently, until the supervisor contacts the reporter after he finds that
something is indeed wrong at the plant. By that time, hitmen are trying to get to him, and he winds up
going to the plant to avoid them. Upon finding the plant running at full power, he grabs a gun from a
guard, kicks everybody out of the control room and takes it over.
Not much I can say about this film, the performances are top-notch and it's drop-dead serious.
It doesn't have a music soundtrack, just whatever's playing on the radios or jukeboxes.
That's unusual.

Tango & Cash (1989)
Another one of those movies I completely and utterly missed.
I don't even remember what I was doing in 1989! Not going to theaters, apparently.
Boy, I don't know where to start with this one. It's so cheezy and Lethal Weapony, except goofier.
Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell do seem to work well together though. There's also Teri Hatcher and
one hell of a B-movie cast: heavy breathing tough guy Jack Palance, "Blade Runner" veteran Brion James,
James "I've been playing an old man for 50 years" Hong (also a "Blade Runner" vet), everybody's favorite
living troll-doll Michael J. Pollard, and the chin-a-riffic Robert Z'Dar (go home Jay Leno!).
The plot? Who cares! It's an '80s action movie! Okay fine, Tango & Cash are the best two cops in L.A.
and they get, like, totally framed, fer shure! And everybody believes it because they're so stupid!
Vroom-vroom, bang-bang, stuff blows up, there's a neat armored SUV with lethal gadgets.
This a beer-and-pizza-with-your-buddies kind of movie.
French lesson: Brion James' character in the film is named "Requin". That's the French word for "shark".
"Requin" is also the name chosen by French translators for Jaws, the Bond villain played by Richard Kiel.


Friendflixing (DVDs borrowed from friends)

Firefly: The Complete Series
Missed it the first time, only saw a few episodes then, was not in the mood for a space western.
Since then, I've watched the entirety of "Deadwood" and several newjack westerns, and also watched
the entirety of "The Adventures Of Brisco County Jr." (that was fun!), so I was ready to tackle this.
And you know, it's pretty good. The Chinese outbursts are a little annoying, but I guess that's one way
to get around those pesky broadcasting censors. After all, even Picard got away with "merde"! :D
It was a good TV show, with some witty dialogue and interesting characters.
It's a shame Fox killed it. Fox has killed a bunch of good stuff. And Fox ruins movies now! Jerks...

Serenity
I actually Netflixed this when it first came out, but after watching the entirety of "Firefly",
I figured I would watch it again now that I had a firmer grounding in that universe.
And I had apparently forgotten almost everything about the film because I wound up enjoying it all over
again, but on a deeper level. I was horrified anew at the revelation of the Reavers' origin. And I spotted
some of the nods to other works of sci-fi, especially the ship labelled "C57D". That one drove me nuts,
as the appellation looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I had to look it up after the movie.
C-57D is the model number of the Earth saucership in "Forbidden Planet". Old school yo! :D
So yeah, I'm sure most of the people reading this have already seen it.
Yeah, it is good stuff, it's not just you. :D


Netflixing (DVDs obtained from Netflix)

The Man Who Would Be King (1975)
Ah yes, another one of those classic movies I had never seen. This one has a pretty good reputation.
And I can see why: Sean Connery, Michael Caine, Christopher Plummer in a movie directed by John Huston.
Based on a short story by Rudyard Kipling, it is a fine tale of high adventure, hubris, and friendship.
Sean Connery and Michael Caine play veteran British soldiers who have stayed in 1880's India after their
tour was up, unwilling to return to England to work unrewarding menial jobs. These worthies hatch a scheme
to invade a savage land called Kafiristan and set themselves up as kings and rob the country blind.
They draw up a contract stating their intent and have Christopher Plummer (as Rudyard Kipling) witness it.
They then go off and succeed beyond their wildest dreams! Sean Connery becomes a god! But can he stay one?
An excellent film, really, quite quite good. Definitely a must-see.
The DVD was a flippie, which is not unusual, but both sides were labelled as "Widescreen".
Movie flippies usually have the fullscreen version (FAIL!) on one side and widescreen (WIN!) on the other.
This one didn't. Oh boy, it didn't, not at all. It was all widescreen.
Also, it had the first half of the movie on Side 1, and the rest on Side 2.
And the same Bonus Features on both sides (mostly text stuff, with one making of featurette).
Whoever mastered this sucker must have thought he was making a laserdisc! :D
Because Fanged God knows nobody makes double-sided DVD players.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Yes, I have this on laserdisc, but not this version. No, my player is still not working right.
I was jonesing for some Star Trek MoPic action, so I rented this and I'm glad I did! You know why?
Because this is the Director's Cut made in 2000 with extra FXs by Foundation "Babylon 5" Imaging.
I had never seen it! The film was recut by Robert Wise and some new shots were completed, and it really
improves the film greatly. The pacing is much better, things are better explained, and you finally get
to see what the V'Ger ship itself looks like once out of the energy cloud.
This is the DVD I've wanted to buy for a while now, and it's apparently sold out and gone. Paramount has
released an "Original Cast" box-set that includes Star Treks 1 through 6, and what little information
I have so far seems to indicate that they're all theatrical versions. ARGH!!! Time to hit eBay!

Crank: High Voltage (2009)
Jason Statham plays Chev Chelios, the toughest man alive, in this sequel to the unhinged actioner "Crank".
The film picks up minutes after the end of the original, and that high altitude drop from the helicopter
apparently didn't kill ol' Chev, though he's definitely looked better. Some Asian gangstas grab him and
take him to a private hospital. They nurse him back to health, only to remove his heart and stick in a
battery-powered replacement. Chev escapes the makeshift hospital and soon discovers that he needs to
electrify himself regularly to recharge the artificial ticker's battery. Highjinks ensue!
As much as I like the original "Crank", I have to say that I am disappointed by this sequel.
I mean, yes, there's more of everything that made the original such a "Tex Avery on crack" insanity ride,
but there's also more unpleasant things. There's more gratuitious gore for one thing, and we here at the
Kzinti Freehold do not approve of such things. There's also some really utterly tasteless stuff going on.
And lots of innocents getting mowed down. We don't approve of that either. I felt dirty after watching this.
I have "Crank" on DVD, and I really don't think "Crank: High Voltage" will join it any time soon.
Apparently, this is David Carradine's last movie. He plays the 100 year-old Chinese pimp daddy who wants
the indestructable Chev Chelios heart for himself. (Guess a green-eyed girl won't work for him! :D )

"Lois & Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman" Season 1 (1993)
I know what I was watching in 1993 instead of this! I was watching "Seapest DDT" "Seaquest DSV",
aka "Star Trek Underwater". Both shows were on at the same time on competing networks.
Also, I was only interested in Batman, superhero-wise, via the excellent "Batman: The Animated Series".
Plus, this was more of a romantic comedy with occasional bouts of Superman.
So yeah, I utterly and completely missed this.
I have now plowed my way through the entire first season and found it goofy, or in French, "nunuche"!
It had its moments though, like Tony Jay (the voice of Megabyte in "Reboot" and Shere Khan in "Talespin"),
and David Warner as Jor-El! That's pretty cool! And James Earl Jones, if only in one episode. Cool too!
But Tracy Scroggins (aka Capt. Lochley from B5 Season 5) as a cougar? And Richard Belzer as a cop?
Yes, I know the Belz went on to be on CSI or whatever. And Jimmy Olsen looking like Scott Baio?
Anyway, Dean Caine is a pretty good Clark Kent and Superman, I admit. And Teri Hatcher is fun.
And I really like Lane Smith as a Perry White who's a Southerner and an Elvis fan. Elvis is everywhere! :D
I'm now starting Season 2 and I see that tracy Scroggins is gone and Jimmy's been replaced.
I haven't seen who the new Lex Luthor is yet, I've only watched Disc 1.
I heard the show improves after Season 1 so I'm sticking with it for now. We shall see.

Okay, that's it for now!
More later...

OMGWTFNETFLIXING 2: Electric Babaloo

Netflixing

One Step Beyond (1959) Season 1 Disc 1
A new release from CBS Home Video, who recently brought out both seasons of one of my chilhood favorites,
"The Invaders". "One Step Beyond" is an old black & white TV anthology series which premiered before
"Twilight Zone" and so far seems to focus more on strange phenomena and the unexplained.
I have only seen the first Disc so far, so I may be in error.
None of the episodes were particularly scary, opting more for slight spookiness and weirdness.
A few examples include: a newlywed Southern belle who suddenly speaks and acts like a totally different
woman, insists she didn't commit suicide, and provides information that lead to the arrest of her killer;
a wife who senses that something bad happened to her missing husband and eventually leads the police to
the site of his car accident; several people who all have premonitions about the sinking of the Titanic
(that episode stars an impossibly-young Patrick MacNee! :D ). So yeah, you see where the show is at.
I'll be getting and watching the other discs.

Space: 1999 (1975-1977) all 17 Discs - both seasons
I used to watch this show on French TV, dubbed in French, and I remember being scared by several episodes.
This is the first time I've seen it in the original English, and the first time I've seen Season 2, which
was never shown on French TV for some reason. And the two seasons are very different in tone and pacing.
Season 1 is, according to producer Sylvia Anderson, a voyage into fear, fear of the unknown.
And wow, that explains so much! Season 1 feels like a horror sci-fi show! The opening theme music is pretty
awesome, but a lot of the incidental music is plain creepy. There are plenty of dark corners, skeletons,
horribly disfigured bodies, screaming, general creepiness and nervous laughter in the way of humor.
Brian Blessed was in one episode and wound up melted! But the one episode that really scared the crap outta
me was a little masterpiece called "Dragon's Domain", featuring a graveyard of spaceships overseen by a
tentacled creature that would teleport in, roar nonstop, and mind-control its victims into jumping into
its giant perpetually-open maw. Said maw would then spit out the dehydrated husks of its victims.
I WAS 10 YEARS-OLD, FER FANGED GOD'S SAKE!! At home, alone! I had nightmares for WEEKS!
Compared to Season 1, Season 2 is a bitching funky disco time packed with action-packed action! :D
All the music's been replaced, the intro is a thrilling disco number, and some light humor has been added.
There are unexplained cast changes a-plenty! Dr. Bergman? Gone! Kano the computer guy? Gone! Paul? Gone!
New people? Maya the alien who fills the Dr. Bergman and Spock role, and is a lot more fun to be around!
And she can turn into other living creatures! And dammit, she's cute! There's also Tony, the security chief
who likes Maya a lot and various other people who were never even seen in Season 1.
The show's lighting got brighter, chasing away all those dark corners. The uniforms got brighter too.
The show was changed to appeal more to the all-important American audience ('cause America had the money!).
Now that I have seen every single episode, I have come to the realization that I don't really like the show
much and that I used to watch it back in France just because it was on, and I loved the Eagles. And also,
Commander Koenig (Martin Landau) and Dr. Russell (Barbara Bain), the two main characters, looked a bit
like my mom and dad. It was weird to see them up there, on a moonbase, in charge of stuff. :)
My Dinky Toys die-cast Eagle Transport toy remains my all-time favorite die-cast toy ever.

The Chase (1966)
Heat + booze + bored Texas townfolks + escaped convict = recipe for disaster.
Oh yeah, this is a fun movie, filled with racism, adultery, small-town corruption, and vigilantism.
Marlon Brando plays the town sheriff, who turns out to be the only sane guy in the entire flippin' burgh.
Well, him and his wife, played by Angie Dickinson. The escaped convict is played by Robert Redford, who was
then an unknown. His wife is played by Jane Fonda. The rest of the cast includes E.G. Marshall, James Fox,
Robert Duvall, Clifton James and an impossibly-young Paul Williams. :D
The escapee is basically a good kid, just a little wild sometimes. He got sent to jail after being framed
for a crime he didn't commit. The bastard who did commit the crime is afraid the convict will come get him.
The bastard is respectable now, see? Director of the local bank, owned by the local rich guy.
The escapee broke out with a stone-cold killer, who wasted no time killing someone, and the escapee is now
blamed for that murder, which freaks out the townfolks even more. They're convinced he's coming back.
By the time the movie ends, it's a flaming trainwreck of a situation: horrible, but you can't look away.
This is why we don't hire people from Texas. :D

Wallace & Gromit: A Matter Of Loaf And Death (2008)
Just released on Region 1 DVD, this is the most recent W&M short, and it is hilarious.
It is a murder mystery, and I do believe this is the first Wallace & Gromit project to feature death,
albeit in a humorous sort of way. Watch for the Hitchcock, "Ghost" and "Aliens" references. :)
The DVD contains a couple of featurettes and one episode of "Shaun The Sheep" (the soccer one).

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: Vol. 1 (2009)
This DVD contains the first 4 episodes of Season 1 of the new Batman cartoon. The show is done in a more
lighthearted way than "Batman: TAS" and "JL/JLU", going back to the campier side, per se.
The art style is kind of chunky and I can see Kirbiesque bits here and there.
Batman is paired with another superhero in each episode, and they're pulling some of the more obscure ones,
like Red Tornado (I had to look him up) and Blue Beetle (though it's a new Blue Beetle, or something).
Aquaman seems to be channeling Brian Blessed. Green Arrow's a bit childish and very competitive with Batman.
Personally, I've been enjoying the show, it's a lot of fun. Here's one of my favorite exchanges:

Plastic Man: "Are you seeing what I’m seeing? Because I’m seeing gorillas, riding pterodactyls,
with harpoon guns, stealing a boat."
Batman: "It’s Gorilla Grodd."
Plastic Man: "It’s messed up is what it is!"

How can you not love such ridiculousness?
I wouldn't buy this DVD though, or any other "Volume". I would hold out for a complete season pack.

Torchwood: Children of Earth (2009)
I've touched on this briefly in another post. Russell T. Davis is a horrible man and I wish him misery.
What he's done to his creation is reprehensible and the acts of a petty vengeful being.
This 5-part mini-series, making up the totality of Season 3, was a crucible for me. I mean, I started
watching Season 1 of this dumb little show that apparently wrote its own slash fiction, ha ha ha. And by
the time Season 2 came around, to my surprise, I started liking the dumb little show and caring about it.
I've never had any emotional attachment to Battlescar Angstactica "Battlestar Galactica",
but dammit, I cared about that bunch of misfits led by the man who couldn't die!
I was pretty much crushed by the end of "CoE".
That horrible man says he has Season 4 all planned out.
I'm not sure I want to see what he has in store.

The Astonishing Work of Tezuka Osamu
Tezuka who? The creator of "Astro Boy", "Kimba The White Lion" and "The Amazing 3", that's who! :)
I was hoping this was a documentary about the man widely regarded as "the Disney of Japan" and "the Father
of Manga", but it turned to be a collection of his experimental animation work. Of all the shorts
gathered on this DVD, only two of them were familiar to me: "Jumping" and the hilarious "Broken Down Film".
"Jumping" is a first-person perspective cartoon about a child who starts jumping progressively higher and
farther. It's pretty neat and works in Tezuka's signature peacenik and "green" tendencies.
"Broken Down Film" is a retro black and white cowboy cartoon with an old timey soundtrack. The cartoon
is badly damaged, so the frame gets out of synch, or breaks, or dirt gets trapped. All these problems
are actually exploited by the characters in the cartoon in a rather Tex Avery-like twist. Funny stuff!
There are over a dozen additional shorts, some incomprehensibly Japanese in subject matter.
One really good short is "The Legend of the Forest", the tale of woodland critters and fairyfolk versus
evil developers. The short actually changes animation style several times during its run. It's neat!
If you're an animation buff, this is worth a rental.

House, M.D. (2004) Season 1 Disc 1
So yeah, everybody loves House and lots of people seem to have House icons on their Live Journal accounts.
I like Hugh Laurie as much as the next guy, but I disliked medical shows and coroner shows.
Maybe it's something about not liking gore, maybe it's something about losing my mom and my brother to
cancer and spending interminable hours in a pauper's hospital (LAC+USC) watching over my brother.
Recently, I decided, "to heck with it, I'm gonna see what the fuss is about".
I Netflixed Season 1 Disc 1 and started watching. Right from the first episode, there's a problem.
Rory Gilmore (well, the actress who played her on "Gilmore Girls", one of my guilty pleasures) is a patient
and I get to see a hole carved into her throat by a scalpel in loving details. Oh boy.
Okay, I figure it's just a fluke, let's press on.
Episode 2: a kid is brought in with some kind of neurological problem. Halfway into the episode,
he's strapped into a chair and a computer arm drives A LONG FUCKING NEEDLE DIRECTLY INTO HIS RIGHT EYE!
I couldn't press Eject fast enough.
Rule #1 of the Kzinti Freehold: YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH THE EYES! EVAR!
Thank you, I'm done with "House".

Taken (2008)
Aka "Liam Neeson Kicks Ass And Takes Names". I've already written about this in a normal post, so I'll
just remind y'all that this is a really cool action film packed with a few surprises.
Uncle Liam plays a retired CIA operative whose daughter is kidnapped by Albanian white slavers mere hours
after she arrives in Paris with a friend. The full fury of Uncle Liam is unleashed! DARKMAN SMASH! :D
The DVD I got from Netflix is the theatrical version, recut for a PG-13 rating to satisfy those assholes
at Fox. They did release the "Extended Cut" on DVD though, and I'm planning to get that eventually.

More later...