Better Late Than Later Netflixing

[zrath]

Wow, really haven't done one of these in looooooooooooooooooong time!
Like, October 2009! I know, I checked.
I am filled with shame.
Okay, maybe not.
It's not like this is my job or anything.
Right, onwards!



Surrogates (2009)
In and out of theaters with barely a peep, this movie was a complete mystery to me. All I knew what that it
starred Bruce Willis and it had something to do with robots. I was pleasantly surprised by the actual film.
Set in the near future, the world has been changed by the introduction of Surrogates, humanoid robots
controlled by an operator from the comfort of a "simbed", a lounge chair with sensory hook-ups and goggles.
The robots are usually made to look like a younger and prettier version of the operator, but some people like
to get something "different". Kinda like how some many women on mucks and online games are played by guys. :D
Anyway, the robots are faster, stronger, prettier, and it's gotten to the point where people no longer venture
outside and the streets are filled with nothing but surrogates. Some people see surrogates as abominations
and refuse to use them. Special areas were negotiated for these "Dreads" to live in, and surrogates are not
allowed to go in. I find this premise fascinating. I mean, with all the scaremongering and H1N1 and TERRISTS
stuff going on these days, some people are terrified to go out. Add to that all the time being spent online
and all the Facebook Twitter stuff and delivery-everything, some people don't even need to go outside anymore!
I can totally see something like this happening within the next 20-30 years or so, provided robotics improve
sufficiently to provide the technology needed. And admit it, it's tempting. If you had full control of a robot
double that could do all the things your body wouldn't allow you to do, or you were too scared to do, like
skydiving, rock climbing, bungee jumping, etc..., wouldn't you be tempted to at least give it a shot?
I would, but I would only use the surrogate sparingly. I'd probably just rent one.
So anyway, the movie does have a plot. Some new weapon has surfaced that can totally overload a surrogate,
blowing out its optics and turning its operator's brain into mush. This is a serious big deal!
Enter FBI agent Bruce Willis surrogate (with hair and looking younger than ever) and his partner to
investigate the first victim of the weapon: the son of the creator of the surrogate technology. Oh boy.
Over the course of the investigation, Surrogate Bruce gets destroyed and Real Bruce, unwilling to just sit
around at home until a new surrogate can be constructed and assigned to him by the Bureau, decides to (GASP!)
LEAVE HIS APARTMENT AND GO OUTSIDE! Why is this a big deal? Let me put it this way:
imagine you're walking on a busy city street, and everyone you see is an infiltrator-type Terminator
controlled by a human being. Imagine all these pretty robots, stronger than you, heavier than you, striding
purposefully, not caring about anything because they don't have to. And there you are, a lowly "meatbag".
The movie is film noir in style. It is shot with wide angle lenses last used by John Frankenheimer in the '60s.
This means the film is mercifully devoid of shakey-cam, face-cam, blurry-cam and lens flares. :D
It's not a masterpiece and it borrows from all sorts of sci-fi films, but it's still fairly nifty.
I'm hestitant to mention that the director also helmed "Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines", lest ye be turned
off because of it. I personally think T3 was "not bad". And I think this is better and certainly deeper.
It makes for a darn good rental and it should be seen by any self-respecting sci-fi fan.

Terminator: Salvation (2009)
And speaking of terminators! Somebody's been watching "Transformers"! There's hot A-10 Warthog action!
There's a towering "harvestanator" robot that makes all sort of mechanical wails and squeaks and gronks.
It picks up humans and dumps them into a new, stretched, 4-engined transport version of the Hunter-Killer.
This "transportanator" even has a niche (NEESH!) for the harvestanator to ride in! Nice and cozy.
Yeah, I didn't much pay attention to teh drama. And frankly, the Terminator timeline has become so polluted,
it's hard to keep it all straight anymore. Especially after watching the "Sarah Connor Chronicles".
Anyway, in the grim future, John Connor is the leader of the resistance against the machines. Except he's not.
There's a different leadership in place and they view him as a pain in the ass because a lot of the troops
see him as a messiah. Oh yeah, there's a subplot about a death row inmate who is executed in the past,
and wakes up in the grim future, completely confused [and he's NOT the only one! :D].
Rent it, or don't rent it. Ultimately, it doesn't matter.

Black Dynamite (2009)
Watch out, you jive turkeys! Black Dynamite is here, and he's gonna clean up the streets!
If you like blaxploitation films and funny movies that are actually funny, you're gonna love this!
It's both a spoof and an hommage to '70s action films with plenty of ass-kicking and kung-fu action.
Black Dynamite! He know kung-fu! The film features jump-cuts, obvious stunt doubles, continuity problems,
visible boom mikes, bad framing, and other hallmarks of low-budget filmmaking, on purpose! :D
Both the plot and dialogue are WTF-worthy at times, and you won't believe the big final boss fight!
No, you won't, trust me on this, you won't see it coming! I'm not even gonna say anything! :D
I watched this with selenesue on her huge TV and we had tons'o'fun!
The cast includes Michael Jai White in the lead, Arsenio Hall (pimp), Tommy Davidson (pimp), Salli
Richardson-Whitfield (soul sister, she plays Allison Blake in "Eureka"), and a host of supporting characters
with outlandish character names like Afroditey, Chocolate Giddy-Up, Chicago Wind and Nipsy. No, not Russell.
This DVD will find its way into my library at some point in the future, right next to "Undercover Brother".
(Well okay, not right next to it. You know what I mean.)

Public Enemies (2009)
Michael Mann gangster flick with Johnny Depp as John Dillinger: Public Enemy Number 1. Christian Bale plays
Melvin Purvis, the Bureau of Investigation agent who nailed him. Johnny Depp, rebel, seldom wears a hat.
The film is generally fun to watch and has plenty of gunplay. It's no "Untouchables" or "Road To Perdition".
I want a Thompson Submachinegun more than ever now. :)

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan (2009)
You know how, in the opening of each episode of the re-imagined "Battlestar Galactica" TV show, it says that
the Cylons have a plan? This IS The Plan. If you've watched the entire series, this DVD will answer all sorts
of questions that have no doubt be gnawing at some of you. It starts with the initial attack on the Colonies
and ends 10 months later, with Fleet Cavil and Caprica Cavil getting airlocked together on Galactica.
If you don't like Cavil (Dean Stockwell), you're going to have a hard time watching this, because he is the
mastermind of The Plan and he is in almost every scene. And he is a monumental asshole. :D
Since this is a made-for-TV movie, it has a bigger budget and it can afford to be a little racier.
The attack on the 12 Colonies is shown with more details and you learn something new about the Basestars.
There's also female and male nudity as well as sex. Overall, I enjoyed this more than any single episode.
I wouldn't own the actual series on DVD, but I would probably get this.

Sleep Dealer (2009)
An intriguing dystopian sci-fi film from Mexico, presenting a dark future where the border has been closed
and only Americans can go into Mexico and back to the US. Corporations have dammed all the rivers and the
water is being diverted to the US. Locals have to pay for water under the watchful eyes of sentry guns.
A string of bombings against the damming of rivers as lead to all Mexicans being under suspicion of terrorism.
One young man goes to Tijuana to work in the Sleep Dealer factories. After having several "nodes" installed on
his body, he is hooked up to machinery that allow him to have complete control over a robot on US soil.
Eventhough the border is sealed, America still needs cheap labor so this is the solution it came up with.
There are robot construction workers, robot nannies, robot taxi drivers, all controlled by real Mexicans.
And no, this is nothing like "Surrogates". The robots are bulky obvious machines, not "beautiful people".
Conflict and drama erupt when the young man's father is killed back home because of something the son did.
He eavesdropped on the US military communications of a drone pilot and its control tower one night. He quickly
shut off his radio but his signal was triangulated and a strike was ordered. It took place a couple of days
after he had reached Tijuana, and he saw it live on television, Robocop-style. There's a lot more stuff going
on in this movie though. It is character-driven, and yes, there is a woman in the young boy's life.
The film is in Spanish and English, with English subtitles where applicable.
It's interesting to see a sci-fi film from the Mexican point of view and it is food for thought.

Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown (2008)
A rather interesting warts-and-all documentary on Howard Philip Lovecraft, xenophobic recluse and inventor of
the Cthulhu mythos all the kids are crazy about. I read the LJ feed of Neil Gaiman's blog, and he mentioned
being in this documentary. He's joined by John Carpenter, Guillermo Del Toro, Stuart Gordon, Peter Straub,
Ramsey Campbell and some guy named Caitlin Kiernan. The documentary itself is 90 minutes long, and the DVD
inludes an extra 57 minutes of interviews. So that's not bad. If you've read Lovecraft's books and know
nothing about the man himself, this is a really comprehensive look at his life and personal quirks.
A must-see for fans of the man and horror in general, as his stuff has been influential in interesting ways.

G.I. Joe: Resolute (2009)
A cleaned-up version of the webisodes that played online; I noticed they fixed two spelling mistakes! :D
The whole thing has been assembled into one movie and tossed onto DVD with a couple of extras.
This is animé G.I. Joe with teeth! Blood is spilled! People die! Nobody parachutes out at the last second!
It's wall-to-wall ass-kicking action and a whole lotta fun. I will be buying soon as soon as I can!

Dante's Inferno (2010)
It's like "The Animatrix", except that the anime segments are based on EA's new videogame, which itself puts
a "God Of War" videogame spin on "Dante's Inferno". The DVD is rated either R or TV-MA or M, or should be.
There's crimson swathes of gore, horrible monsters and other yucky stuff and it's pretty messed-up.
I found it all rather uninspired. Anime fans might enjoy it.

Halo: Legends (2010)
Oh look, another "like The Animatrix" DVD release! This one is based around the "Halo" videogames universe.
Again, it features 8 segments from different anime studios done in different styles. There are two segments
that cover the reason why the Halos were made and what they were used for. One segment is a samurai story.
3 segments are filled with various levels of typical anime angst. One funny segment by Toei seems to channel
"Dragonball Z" and centers around heroic and klutzy Spartan 1337 (1337! Get it? :D). And the final segment,
my favorite one by far, is an "Appleseed"-style CGI segment with kick-ass John Woo gunplay action and nifty
hardware (death space bikes with gauss cannons, miniguns and beercan missiles-a-gogo!). OH YEAH!
Still, considering I only really like one segment and I don't play Halo, I don't see myself getting this.
I'm sure a ton of Halo and/or anime fans will pick this up. Many more will just download it. :)

Rifftrax: Voodoo Man (1944)
The Rifftrax Crew (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett) tackle this breezy little 61-minute B&W gem
starring Bela Lugosi and John Carradine. It's not a bad experiment overall, there's plenty of riff-fodder.
The DVD has the film with and without riffing, so you can riff it yourself. And that's all there is.

RiffTrax: Shortstacular Shorts-stravaganza (2010)
A brand new 2-hour compilation of bewildering old instructional and industrial shorts, savagely riffed to bits
by the Rifftrax Crew. It contains such gems as "Primary Safety in the School Building" (NANNY STATE!),
"Know for Sure", "If Mirrors Could Speak", "How Much Affection?" (if you're British, none), "Overcoming Fear",
"Your Chance to Live: Technological Failures", "Kitty Cleans Up", "Cooking Terms and What They Mean" (what is
this "boiling" you speak of?), "Playing Together", and "Damaged Goods" (yes, it's a syphillis short).

RiffTrax: Plan 9 from Outer Space: LIVE! (2010)
Now, THIS is a Rifftracx DVD I would consider buying. It's a live riff of "Plan 9 From Outer Space" recorded
in Nashville, and the Rifftrax Crew is in top form! But it's not just the movie, there's a whole show too!
Jonathan Coulton plays a couple of songs, there's a couple of fake commercials done by that Lotax guy,
and best of all, there's a new short riffed to bits by the Crew ("Flying Stewardess") and it is HILARIOUS!
This one is definitely worth checking out!

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Hobgoblins (1988)
And here's one from the Rifftrax Crew's previous gig. "Hobglobins" is a laughably cheap piece of turd of a
"Gremlins" rip-off filmed in the San Fernando Valley with absolutely no one you've ever heard of.
The hobglobins themselves are portrayed by stuffed creatures without any articulations. These hobglobins are
from spaaaaaaaaace and they have the power to grant you your fondest wish, and then kill you. I know right?
The movie is a veritable parade of wrong and awkwardness, and even with Mike And The 'Boys, it's TOOORCHAAAR!
You have been warned!



Dang, I need to do this more often...